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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Another Blog Award

Another Blog Award

I have another blog award to share this weekend.  Presenting:

The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award

Yay!  This award comes from Amber, who always says what's on her mind.  Thanks a bunch!

I traced this award back to the creator.  Apparently, the qualifications to be a recipient are at the awarder's discretion.  I'm glad that web of discretion made its way to me.  

At this point, I pass on The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award to 5 other worthy blogs.  :)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Blog Awards!

I have received a couple of awards lately!  I am very thankful for them and I happily accept them.  I'll put two of them up today and the other one, tomorrow.

The Versatile Blogger

What can I say?  I'm flattered.  I really do try to keep Dry Humor Daily interesting.  I'm glad someone else thinks so, too.  This is from my blogger friend, Jess.  Thank you for the award and thank you for the nostalgia I often get from reading your blog.

I actually got two of these bad boys.  (Kind of drives a point home, doesn't it?)  I am equally happy for both of them.  This one comes from Cyn, over at Quintessence.  Check out her blog, too.

So now I have to say seven things about myself and then pass on the award to 15 other versatile bloggers.  (This is going to cover for both awards.)

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite candy.  More specifically, the small ones.
2. I really like Malcolm Gladwell's books.
3. I'm from Texas (I'm still there, actually) and I play ice hockey on a recreational league.  Weird, huh?
4. I play the piano.  I have been for about as long as I could push a button.
5. My fiance and I are like a mini Brady Bunch.  I have a child from a previous relationship and so does she.
6. I'm a one-beer kind of guy.  I can honestly say that I typically drink pretty much any alcohol for its taste.  My favorite beer?  Fat Tire.
7. I worked for Starbucks for almost 3 years and I was a Coffee Ambassador.  (It's kind of like the Knights of the Round Table, except for coffee.)  Now, I work for a software company.

So about those 15 other bloggers.  I bestow the Versatile Blogger award to the following bloggers.  Check them out.  I don't just put anyone up here.  :)

1. This Freckled Lemonade , 2. Melanie's Randomness , 3. Diary of a Fair Weather Diver , 4. Little Lost Soul , 5. Dibbly Fresh , 6. Inside The Mind of Booya , 7. Arguing With a Donut , 8. From the STUPIDEST Corner of My Mind , 9. Simply Kate , 10. Overserved and Undertall , 11. Mi Vida en Buenos Aires , 12. Northwest Betty , 13. Thank Goodness For The Good Ones , 14. Fantasy Casting , and 15. Red Pen, Inc.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Word Verification #12

Word Verification #12

It’s Friday!  So that means Captcha time.  J

Have a Happy Halloween this weekend.  Don’t spoil your dinner with all that candy!

I usually have to think about a funny Captcha when I see one, to decide if it would be easy to make fun of.  Not with this one:


-noun, pl
1. Cute, little tests, generally not administered beyond the 3rd grade
Ex: Testies are slightly more difficult versions of quizzies.

2. Abbreviated testaments, i.e. shortened halves of the bible

3. The male generative gland used to produ… wait a minute.  Wrong spelling.  I guess you can use your imagination on this one.  J

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Pandora Power

Pandora Power

Usually, I have my iPod running in the background at work.  More specifically, I listen to it at my work bench.  (You see, I have a desk, where I spend about 30% of my time, and I have another desk (work bench) where I spend the rest of my time.)  Anyway, when I’m at my 30% desk, I tune into Pandora radio.  It is great!  Let me tell you why I have one more reason to love Pandora. 

I recently discovered the genre stations that Pandora has set up.  I found the pop radio genre, which is nice, because I do like some of the songs they play on pop radio.  Well, in case you don’t know, Pandora let’s you “thumb down” songs you don’t like and they will never play again on that station.  It’s a cool way to effectively “customize” what it plays for you.  (I say “customize” because you still have to let Pandora “feed” you songs and let you judge them yourself.)  (I say “feed” because if you use the “free” version of Pandora, you can only skip so many songs before you just have to listen to them all.)  (I just quoted “free” for the heck of it back there.)

This was probably one of the most rewarding, soul-fulfilling, probably-would-have-made-my-bucket-list-if-I-had-one-already “thumbs down” I’ve gotten to dish out in a long time:

Notice the check-marked thumb down in the bottom left corner and the larger, subtle, yet all-powerful thumbs down in the upper right corner. 

Sweet, sweet victory!

Do I really have to explain why this made my day?  I think not.  (Oh, and the only thing better than thumbs-downing this song?  Thumbs-downing the second one that came along.)  No Beiber fever here!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Airplane Banners

Airplane Banners

I was driving down the highway the other day and I saw this:

You can’t really tell by this picture, but do you know how that sign flies through the air?  A plane.  Yep.  People still occasionally advertise using a banner flown around behind a biplane.  And if you ask me, it’s absolutely ridiculous. 

The first thing I thought was, “What?  Is someone proposing or something?”  (It’s not like you can tell right away.  Those banners are extremely difficult to read.)  Slowly, the plane circled around to an angle where I could read it.  Remember, I’m driving on the highway.

While the plane was going around, my mind shifted from what the sign read to why on Earth we still use these advertisements.  I mean, come on.  A flying banner?  Really?  I think we’ve graduated from the 1940’s. 

Before I could substantially ponder the out-dated-ness of the ad, it came into view.  It read, “Drive Savely.  State Farm.” 

…Nice one, State Farm.  I’m not talking about the clever twist on the word “savely,” either.  I’m pretty sure I took my eyes off of the road about 10 times just to try to squint out what the banner said.  A little ironic, don’t you think?  I wonder if anyone got into an accident trying to read that sign. 

I’ve never really thought highly of State Farm’s advertising/marketing strategy.  Airplane banners aren’t helping their case.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

...And Rachel McAdams Wears Prada, Too

. . . And Rachel McAdams Wears Prada, Too

This was not by any means intentional.  The TV was on (I wasn’t really watching it) and a trailer played for an upcoming romantic comedy.  Guess who wrote it:

(If you read yesterday’s post, it wouldn’t be all that hard to guess…)

I could hardly believe my ears.  I was just making fun of how silly it sounded to promote a movie by flaunting its screenwriters.  Lo and behold!  Here comes a movie called Morning Glory.  (Boy howdy, they are reeeeeeeeeally proud of the work they did on The Devil Wears Prada!) 

To be completely honest, Morning Glory stars Harrison Ford (usually worth seeing) and Rachel McAdams (always worth seeing ;)), and I wouldn’t be totally against watching it.  Even though I’m a guy and this movie is a romantic comedy, it’s still a romantic comedy.  Who can say "no" to comedy?  Right?  (I'll keep telling myself that.)

You know, Prada has deep roots in American film making, as well.  It's no surprise that marketers flash it around every chance they get.  I believe that in this case, it has finally come full circle, too.  Remember Star Wars?  Harrison Ford was in that, too (as a youngin', of course).  Who else was in Star Wars?  Darth Vader.  Any idea what kind of boots Vader was wearing?  That's right:

Monday, October 25, 2010

Katherine Heigl Wears Prada

Katherine Heigl Wears Prada

How do movie trailers attempt to coerce you into watching the film?  There are several ways.  The preview can be mysterious, making you wonder enough to go see it.  The trailer can be totally awesome and cool, leading you to believe that the film will follow suit.  Other sneak peeks make you laugh, convincing you that you’ll surely have a good time watching the finished movie. 

Well, in case you’re wondering what this has to do with Katherine Heigl and movie trailers, I’ll tell you.  Some trailers try to reel you in by showcasing the film collaborators’ resumes.  Examples:

Go see Academy Award winners Matt Damon and Jeff Bridges in True Grit!
(This movie is practically overflowing with talent!  I’m there.)
(Just kidding.)
(Well, I don’t know, it actually looks interesting.)

Go see Hereafter by Academy Award winning director Clint Eastwood!
(It was good, by the way.  We saw it last weekend.)

It’s a little hard to read, but the promo spilled across Heigl’s dress on the 27 Dresses DVD cover (pictured above) reads “From the screen writer of ‘Devil Wears Prada.’”  All I could think was: …Really?  The screen writer?  First of all, I bet only half of the American public even knows what a screen writer is.  Second, that’s the best they could come up with?  How many wives and girlfriends do you think turned to their significant others when they saw this preview and giddily whispered, “Oh, I loved the screen play in The Devil Wears Prada!  We just have to go see 27 Dresses!”  My guess?  None.  The marketers for this movie were really fishing for credentials on this one.  Someone fire them before we have to watch 27 Dresses 2, brought to you by the Key Grip Assistant from Must Love Dogs!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Word Verification #11

Word Verification #11

Happy International Stuttering Awareness Day!  (You don’t know how bad I wanted to make a joke about that.)  Just know that if you have breast cancer and a stutter, everyone is really thinking about you today!  J

Have a great weekend.  Enjoy Captcha number five to kick it off!


1.  A home to a collection many gorgeous women. 
Ex: That sorority is awesome!  It’s a Grade-A dimenest!

2.  Hugh Hefner’s house.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Word Verification #10

Word Verification #10

Happy International Day of the Nacho!  Go getchya some!  Who can say no to nachos?

Here’s the fourth Captcha for the week.  Enjoy!


1.  A plate or bowl completely covered with advertising.
(By the way, if someone ever becomes a millionaire by inventing the AdDish, I’m claiming intellectual property!  You saw it here first!)

2.  Indeterminably, slightly more.
“Jack, did you add salt to the soup?  It’s really salty!”
Jack smiled awkwardly, “um.  Addish?”
Addish?”  Jill questioned.
“Yeah, just a little.” 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Word Verification #9

Word Verification #9

Happy Hump Day!  Make the best of it.  It only happens once a week!

Here’s captcha #3 for the week.  Enjoy!


1.  To unite online, either in the form of dating or video gaming.
Ex: The World of Warcraft elves and dwarves enited to defeat the Orc Warlord boss.  (Sound nerdy?  It is.)

2.  The time spent online during the period of time between sunset and sunrise.
Ex: My enite was great.  I used the internet to pay some bills, do some blogging, and caught up on some reruns of Mork and Mindy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Word Verification #8

Word Verification #8

Happy Mother Teresa Day!  Aren’t you glad the standard work week is 20% over?  I am.  J

Here is the second entry for Captcha week. 


1.  A subjectively short period of time.
Ex:  “Wash your hands, kids!  Dinner will be ready inisec!”

2.  Eventually, but not necessarily, next.
Ex:  The audience sat quietly and patiently in the theater during the previews.  They all knew the film would be playing inisec.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Word Verification #7

Word Verification #7

Happy Alaska Day!  I hope everyone had a nice weekend.  A little more rest would have been nice, but hey!  Those bills don’t pay themselves!  J

 I’m kicking off a week of Captcha posts for two reasons.  First, I’ve been very busy, lately.  Second, I just like them.  I promise, I’ll get back to some meaningful, life-altering writings next week. 



1.  To act according to the law and in a gleeful manner.
Ex: I glegally drive under the speed limit, to avoid getting a ticket.

2.  An act of happily gallying, or frightening, someone.
Ex: “I love Halloween.  I enjoy glegallying all of the trick-or-treaters!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Word Verification #6

Word Verification #6

I had to bust out Microsoft Paint for this one.  J  Enjoy!


1. The second slap in a consecutive series of two, as in "to and fro," especially one aimed at the face
See diagram

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Go Rangers!

Go Rangers!

When I say Rangers, I mean the Texas Rangers as in the MLB team.  They just won their first playoff series ever on Tuesday.  (As embarrassing as it is that it took almost 40 years, it’s still nice to be happy about something.  It’s not coming from the Cowboys.  That’s for sure.)  Good luck versus the Yankees!

I can’t post about all business, so I have to post at least one thing funny.  I’m a little short on time, so I’ll leave you with this picture.  The best part is: it doesn’t need any words.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Good Fish, Bad Grammar

Good Fish, Bad Grammar

Behold! Salmon!

I know it’s difficult to read, but this is what the writing states:

“Wild salmon is exceptionally popular with ‘most everyone.  The reason?  Everyone just loves the taste of salmon.  And isn’t it nice to know that salmon also contains Omega-3 fish oils?”

That isn’t a second-grader’s English essay.  Nope.  That is actually printed on this package of salmon we bought recently.  (Mandalyn lovingly pointed this out to me.)  The idea of this passage is to briefly inform/convince you as to why you should buy this fish.  Is it effective?  I don’t know.  We didn’t uncover the elementary English until several days after buying it.  Perhaps you’re wondering what’s wrong with the statement?  I’ll tell you.

1.       What does “ ‘most” mean?  What’s with the apostrophe?  Google doesn’t even know the answer.  (I tried.)  I’ve been making fun of non-word captchas lately, but whoever wrote this seriously thinks “ ‘most” is an acceptable variation of the word “almost.”  (It’s not.)
2.      If “exceptionally” is the biggest word in your vocabulary, you probably shouldn’t be published, even on the back of a bag of salmon.
3.      “The reason?” is slang.  It’s not a properly formed question.  It’s actually not even a properly formed sentence (no predicate).  Certain assumptions that can be made in speech should not be made in writing.  (But then again, this person used “ ‘most.”)
4.      So which one is it?  ‘Most everyone or everyone?  The bag says both. 
5.      Sure, salmon has Omega-3 oils.  Cool, but what are those?  The bag panel of the bag which contains the above writing is about 70% blank.  Couldn’t they expand on this just a little bit?  “White space” belongs in artwork, not advertising.

This is more funny than it is wildly offensive.  (And it’s probably more widly offensive than wild Alaskan…)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010



I have to start this out by saying that out of all of my blog posts to date, only about two or three ideas weren’t originally my own observation.  My lovely fiancĂ© pointed those out to me.  Well, without knowing (and not having asked) if she would want to be specifically mentioned on Dry Humor Daily, I have simply beaten around the bush in those instances, carefully avoiding pointing out the inspiration as my own.  Anyway, she brought it to my attention last week and so now, whenever she inspires me, I promise to diligently deliver her due drollery distinction.  Thanks, baby!  (I know for a fact she gave me the ideas for both On the Bubble and Wet Roads.  I don't recall which others, if any.)

So we were watching something on TV, I don’t remember what, and a commercial played for a new car from Nissan.  It is . . . for lack of a better word . . . unattractive.  I understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but, my eyes are telling me “ugly.”  Mandalyn (that’s her name, by the way) clearly felt the same way.

The commercial goes on and on telling you all about the new car, but doesn’t mention the name until the very end, “the all-new, Nissan Juke!” 

Mandalyn turned to me and said, “so is it a joke or a puke?  I can’t tell!  That thing is ugly!”

I said, “I couldn’t agree more!”  (Yes, we speak in exclamation.)  It was true.  I conjured up the same exact question in my head.  Not only is “Juke” a stupid name for a car, it’s ugly.  If you’re going to make an ugly car, don’t give it an ugly name.  And don’t try to make it look cool.  It’s not going to work.  The headlights look like they are smeared on the hood, the front of the Juke is way bigger than the back, and the doors open like a side by side refrigerator/freezer. 

Sorry, Nissan.  I think you missed the mark on this one. (What’s that, Nissan?  You wanted to capture the essence of a once-emo-but-now-college-graduate-wanting-to-personify-long-contained-but-never-outwardly-expressed-feelings-of-parental-rebellion-and-false-sense-of-longing-for-individuality-in-the-form-of-blending-twenty-first-century-artistic-flair-with-a-bit-of-foreign-vehicular-prowess-which-can-seat-four?  Oh. . .  Then, nice work.)

Monday, October 11, 2010

Not Funny

Not Funny

Are there any products you avoid buying because of something a company does or perhaps because of something they stand for?  Maybe you don’t buy Gap or Nike because of infamous child-labor-and/or-indentured-servent-esque­ lawsuits.  Perhaps you avoid Odwalla bottled drinks because once upon a time, a kid died from drinking it.  (I’ve got news for ya.  I’m fairly certain most foods kill at least one person some time or another.)  Well, I don’t have a personal list of A-list offenders, a “do not buy” list.  Some companies really make me think twice, though. 

Congratulations to Jack in the Box!  They’ve just recently scored some huge negative brownie points.  The first time I saw this commercial, I had to fully digest it before realizing just how appalling it is (no pun intended).  If you want to see the commercial, it was still up on the Jack in the Box website last Friday when I wrote this.  The beginning of the commercial is fine.  Jack is promoting his Pastrami sandwich by showing how much the focus group likes the new bread.  Then, he stumbles across a different focus group room in which two employees are hazing an intern by dunking him upside down in a vat of Strawberry Shake:

Really, Jack in the Box?  Really?  Hazing?  Hazing is absolutely not funny.  It never was and it never will be funny.  People have died in hazing incidents before (not at Jack in the Box, however, but still…).  I can’t believe this made it through to the airwaves. 

This commercial is in completely and utterly bad taste.  (Although that strawberry shake is looking pretty good right now…)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Word Verification #5

Word Verification #5

I’ve officially decided to start doing funny Captcha posts every Friday.  (My brother gave me the idea and I like it.)  This way, they can be evenly spaced and stop hogging other days of the week.  Wednesdays have feelings, too, you know! 

Don’t expect any awesomely amazing alliterative alias for the series of posts, though, for example “Funny Fridays” or “Wacky Wednesdays.”  That’s just silly.  This is Dry Humor Daily, not Silly Sally Sells Seashells by the Seashore Humor Daily.

Alas!  Wait no more.  Here is number 5 in the series:


1. To share a milk shake with someone, by means of mutually exclusive straws

2. To vacuum with a partner
Ex: We cosucked the house in half the time!

3. To perform a task poorly as a group, especially in sports
Ex: “Well, team.  We really cosucked out there, today.  We lost the game by a landslide!”

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Coors' Blue Mountains

Coors’ Blue Mountains

One of my biggest pet peeves is when companies “dumb down” their products for the general public.  It’s insulting.  And it definitely doesn’t make me want to buy their products.  The example that has been on my mind for a while is the Cold-Activated bottles and cans from Coors. 

Let me just ask this question.  Before cold-activated bottles hit the shelves, how did you know when your Coors was cold?  You picked it up, right?  If it was cold to the touch, then it was cold.  Duh.  It’s pretty basic.  (If you don’t drink Coors, imagine any bottled beverage instead.  Like root beer.) 

Aren’t we all fairly experienced in beverage cooling matters, anyway?  I’m sure you know several ways to cool down a bottle of something and even further, you know about how long each method takes.  It’s like the honchos at Coors think a bunch of Neanterthals are running around, drinking their beer:

“Me like beer.  Blue beer cold.  Me drink Coors.  Ug like Coors.”

All I have to say is: come on, Coors.  We’re not that stupid.  (At lease, not all of us.)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Word Verification #4

Word Verification #4

Here’s number 4 in the series.  I have a bank-load of funny Captcha screen shots that I have to try very hard not to post every single day.  I’m trying my best to spread them out.


1.  The entirety of a log
Ex: A holog blocked the whole path we were walking on.

2.  A bench for hookers to sit on, especially one in the shape of a fallen tree.
Ex: The holog was full, so the last ho had to stand while waiting for her pimp.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

OCD or Crazy?

OCD or Crazy?

The other day, I was listening to the morning show on my commute to work and I heard a segment about deciding whether certain habits were either crazy or just plain old OCD.  The DJs asked listeners to call in and tell them about any habit of theirs and the DJs would vote on which category it fell into.  I sat there wondering if the fine line between the two was really all that fine of a line.  I mean, I think crazy is pretty easy to tell from OCD. 

…Then, people started calling in.

Without going into detail, some certifiably crazy and OCD people called in.  It got me thinking.  Is there anything I do that’s borderline OCD/crazy?  Probably.  Although, it took me a while to think of a habit to question.  Here it is.  I guess y’all can be the judges. 

For me, the volume on the TV always has to be an even number.  To clarify, when changing the volume on my TV, a number and a bar both pop up to display what level (number) the volume is at.  The higher the number, the louder the TV is.  Well, inexplicably, I can’t leave it on an odd number.  It has to be even.  I usually keep it at 18 or 20, but never 17, 19, or 21.  And when the kids are watching a movie, I put the volume to 28 or 30, not 29. 

I’m not going to go bonkers if the volume is an odd number and I can definitely force myself to change it to one, but I’ll always make it even out of habit.  Sometimes, I’ll hold the volume up or down button for a little bit to change the volume quickly, but if it lands on an odd number, I just as quickly adjust it to an even.  I suppose I just feel at peace when it’s even.  If someone were to ask me why, I wouldn’t have an answer for them. 

So is that crazy?  Or OCD?  Do you have any of said borderline habits?

Monday, October 4, 2010

Subliminal Listening

Subliminal Listening

Last week, I posted about subliminal advertising and gave a couple of examples.  In the comments on that post, Boxxy reminded me about a conversation we once had about subliminal messages buried in music.  (And no, I’m not talking about playing “Stairway to Heaven” backwards.  That’s called backmasking and it’s idiotic.)  What I’m talking about is a scientific means for using music to influence human behavior, specifically in a retail environment.  Here’s a couple of techniques that you may not even realize you’re being subjected to.

#1  Does music make you move?  Does upbeat music make you swing your hips and snap your fingers, sometimes without you even realizing it?  For most people, the answer is yes.  (If the answer is no, then you need to get out more.)  You don’t play Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies when you’re home alone and cleaning the house.  You play some upbeat rock or country, something to get your blood flowing.  (I’m going to turn some on right now!)

Have you ever been to a coffee shop in the morning?  (Are you tired of answering questions?)  The music is usually upbeat, no matter what genre.  The reason is, people naturally move faster when music with a faster tempo is playing.  Coffee shops, in particular, need to blow through a ton of customers in the mornings to make some money!  This technique is very helpful.  If you go back to the same shop in the afternoon, you’ll hear a much more relaxing playlist.  Why?  So that you’ll sit around for a while.  Kick back.  Maybe, oh, I dunno, buy something else!  Coffee joints aren’t exactly busy in the afternoon, so any tactic to rake in more of your dollars is welcome.  I could go into many more examples, but I have another technique to get into.

#2  This one is a little creepy.  You know that guy at the end of car commercials who talks really, really, really fast?  So fast you can barely understand what he’s saying?  (Is he even human?  Yes.)  The advertisers typically record the person talking at a normal speed and then just speed it up with their techno-super-powers.  You can hardly make out every word, but your ears and your brain: they soak up every last bit.  Yep.  Your brain is smarter than you.  (I know what you’re thinking: huh?  But don’t say huh.  That just proves my point if you do.)  Your ears can pick up sounds which you’re not always aware of and your brain can interpret them, no problem.

A guy named Hal C Becker realized this decades ago.  He made something called the “black box.”  It plays messages at slower or faster speeds which your ears hear, but you don’t really recognize.  At the same time, regular music is playing in a department store, for example.  You hear music you know and love, but underneath, your ears and brain are hearing messages like, “I can afford this” or “I’ll get caught if I steal” and “Someone is watching so I shouldn’t shoplift.”  First of all, it’s scary.  But what’s scarier?  It works.  Sales increase a little bit when a store’s music is laced with positive messages, but the kicker is the anti-theft deterrent powers.  Some stores report that theft goes down as much as 30-40 percent when looping subliminal anti-theft messages with their music.  Can you believe that!?  My question is: what else are we being unknowingly coaxed into doing or not doing? 

Listen closely next time you’re buying something somewhere.  The music is telling you something . . . and something else, too.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Word Verification #3

Word Verification #3

I know I just did this on Wednesday, but I can’t help myself.  I invented something the other day in my own mind: Captcha Hunting.  Basically, I find someone’s blog who uses word verification, pop-out the comment window, and keep hitting the Refresh button until I find funny captchas.  Then I snap screen shots of them.  (I know.  I’m a nerd.)

I found this one and I just really wanted to share it:


1. Stirs like a German
Ex: “Mixen dat flour und sugar und give it a good shter.



-noun (plural)
2. A group of commodes
3. A group of commode users
Ex: Several portable sh’ters ran along the edge of the state fair to accommodate the sh’ters who were waiting in line to use them.

(c)2012 Dry Humor Daily