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Tuesday, October 12, 2010



I have to start this out by saying that out of all of my blog posts to date, only about two or three ideas weren’t originally my own observation.  My lovely fiancé pointed those out to me.  Well, without knowing (and not having asked) if she would want to be specifically mentioned on Dry Humor Daily, I have simply beaten around the bush in those instances, carefully avoiding pointing out the inspiration as my own.  Anyway, she brought it to my attention last week and so now, whenever she inspires me, I promise to diligently deliver her due drollery distinction.  Thanks, baby!  (I know for a fact she gave me the ideas for both On the Bubble and Wet Roads.  I don't recall which others, if any.)

So we were watching something on TV, I don’t remember what, and a commercial played for a new car from Nissan.  It is . . . for lack of a better word . . . unattractive.  I understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but, my eyes are telling me “ugly.”  Mandalyn (that’s her name, by the way) clearly felt the same way.

The commercial goes on and on telling you all about the new car, but doesn’t mention the name until the very end, “the all-new, Nissan Juke!” 

Mandalyn turned to me and said, “so is it a joke or a puke?  I can’t tell!  That thing is ugly!”

I said, “I couldn’t agree more!”  (Yes, we speak in exclamation.)  It was true.  I conjured up the same exact question in my head.  Not only is “Juke” a stupid name for a car, it’s ugly.  If you’re going to make an ugly car, don’t give it an ugly name.  And don’t try to make it look cool.  It’s not going to work.  The headlights look like they are smeared on the hood, the front of the Juke is way bigger than the back, and the doors open like a side by side refrigerator/freezer. 

Sorry, Nissan.  I think you missed the mark on this one. (What’s that, Nissan?  You wanted to capture the essence of a once-emo-but-now-college-graduate-wanting-to-personify-long-contained-but-never-outwardly-expressed-feelings-of-parental-rebellion-and-false-sense-of-longing-for-individuality-in-the-form-of-blending-twenty-first-century-artistic-flair-with-a-bit-of-foreign-vehicular-prowess-which-can-seat-four?  Oh. . .  Then, nice work.)


Jess said...

It looks like a sports car collided with an SUV and that hideous thing was the result.

Christine said...

I personally like cars with a big rear end, or junk-in-the-trunk so to this would not work for me!

Girly said...

This reminds me a lot of the cars I've seen here in the UK, only weirder and less attractive. But almost every single vehicle here is a hatchback, which I think (?) is what they are going for here.


IT LOOKS LIKE A TAMPON APPLICATOR WITH WHEELS! I don't know whether to drive it or stick it up my va jay jay...and it's white too? lmfao oh god!

Monica said...

It's not the most aesthetically pleasing vehicle, but I think the name is more off-putting than anything!

Boxxy said...

It's not that bad... It's better than the Volks Wagon Thing, that's the actual name of the car.

Cole Garrett said...

@ Boxxy Yeah, the Thing is also very dated-looking

@ Thundercat Um, well, I'm not very well-versed in tampon applicators. I'll take your word for it. LOL

@ Monica Agreed. I think they were going for "Juke" as in the football move. Not working, though

@ Girly If it is supposed to be a hatchback, it's an ugly failure

@ Jess The child of Elton John and a polar bear

Ryan said...

This seems to be becoming a trend for nissan. Do i need to point out the Nissan Cube

That thing is freaking ugly as well!!

Mile High Madness

theTsaritsa said...

I was wondering why they chose that name, "Juke." Maybe it has a bangin sound system (as in juke box), but otherwise it's just silly.

Anonymous said...

Careful you never know if nissan's ninja assasins are reading this blog!!
But I agree it's a failed attempt. Even the commercial promotes speeding. Destruction of public and private property. Hazing and the horrible act of wearing red shoes with a business suit. Oh and putting your feet with those horrible shoes up on the conference table.
I think the advertisers who made this commercialshould be shot

Girly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cole Garrett said...

@ Anonymous True. The commercial DOES kind of make you think that jumping through windows is okay as long as you're driving a Juke. And you can be a jerk and hurdle desks at work, all the while splaying someone's neatly stacked paperwork all over the place. . . and wearing overpriced red shoes.

Girly said...

Ahaha. Fair enough. I really don't even know why I was attempting to defend it, anyway, since I completely agree with you about its unattractiveness.

AmberLaShell said...

wow that is an ugly car!

Stereo said...

I can't even lie; that thing is pretty damn hideous.

Jon said...

The name Edsel was already taken.

Cole Garrett said...

Yeah,the Edsel was an epic failure on so many levels. And its looks didn't help either. If you ask me, it looks like it's sucking on a lemon, puckered up.

I think the honchos at Ford STILL cringe when they hear the name edsel

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