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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Just Drive

Just Drive

Some people are very, very smart.  We have microsurgeries and smart phones.  We have the Hubble space telescope and 4G wireless networks.  Have you ever seen an Airbus A380??  It’s difficult to imagine that we humans can build such things!  To our extreme misfortune, we also have humans wandering around this planet which are on the complete opposite end of the intelligence spectrum: utter idiots.

Yep.  This article is about people doing stupid things, not smart things.  And if you’re trying to make a connection to the title of this article, I’ll just say it: this is about people doing stupid things while operating a vehicle.  That being said, what should we definitely not be doing while driving a car?  Here are just a few I could come up with:

Drinking alcohol – this is a no brainer.  If you can’t see straight, how could you possibly drive straight.  And oh yeah, it’s illegal.

Putting on makeup – especially around the eyes.  Especially, especially with the sun visor’s vanity mirror in your face blocking your view of the road.  Here’s an idea: wake up earlier!

Picking your nose – not illegal, but dangerous on bumpy roads

Texting – because Oprah says so . . .

Eating a burrito – it’s an accident waiting to happen, whether it be your car or your clean, white shirt

There are plenty of other examples, and as a matter of fact, I thought I had seen them all.  Then, there was the other day. . .  I pulled up to a stop light on a major street and just happened to glance over at the driver in the small, blue car next to me.  The lady was reading a book!  Not a magazine or a pamphlet.  A freaking novel!  And she was half-way through it!  I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she just whipped it out for that stop light.  But no!  After the light turned green, she just kept on reading while driving.  It must have been one life-altering book

I just have to say, how ignorant can you be?!

She might as well have been drinking, texting, putting on makeup, picking her nose, and eating a burrito!  To all of you page turners/drivers out there . . .  Stop It!  Just drive.


Jess said...

I actually know someone who got into a major accident because he was eating a burrito whilst driving....

Together we can find a cure for stupidity.

Cole Garrett said...

I'm sorry to hear that. I was trying to be obscure, but I guess I'll be a little more so next time.

I was just thinking, maybe I should send this one to Oprah, LOL

Anonymous said...

Hey Cole, I came from Kisekae's site, and you're right I should stop picking my nose altogether.

I usually do the opposite of what Oprah says, and that usually gets me in a lot of trouble.

Cole Garrett said...

Thanks for stopping by!

Yeah, picking your nose is definitely a social no-no after about the age of 5.

O.F.C.J. said...

Hello. Everyone always thinks the are a good enough driver to do these things. Sadly many times it takes tehm getting caught or moreso, an accident to prove that wrong. Failitude.


Cole Garrett said...

I see some people driving with their elbows because their hands are full. If cars were meant to be driven by elbow, I think they would have put elbow holes in the steering wheel or something like that.

Just an observation. :)

SintheaP. said...

Just a couple of days ago, I saw someone flossing his teeth while driving. Since it required both his hands, the driver used his elbows instead.

really, how ignorant can they be!?

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