I'll Be Back

As much as I want the title of this post to be an Arnold Schwarzenegger reference, it's not.  There will not be any posts this week because I'll be on my honeymoon.  (Well, there is this post, but you get the picture.)  Actually, by the time you read this, I'm already long gone.  :)

SO!

In the meantime, feel free to check out the random post finder.  It's in the sidebar right over there below the welcome message.  Enjoy a blast from the past.  I like to think you can find something worthwhile in there.

Until next week!

Font

Perhaps a nice Times New Roman or Tahoma would have been a better choice . . .

 . . . or Ludica Sans Serif even . . . ANY font, basically, where "LI" doesn't look so much like a "U."  LOL.

Roadside Attraction

I don't usually order hot dogs at a fast food restaurant:

but I'm almost intimidated enough by this one not to.  

Note:    That is one patriotic hot dog.

Note2:  That is one funny shaped burger.

Product Placement

Does this fall under the category of product placement?

If so, it's a crappy example...

Should Be Sorry

Most of time, businesses have issues with lights not working in their signs:

Or maybe they really are sorry.

Keep em Clean

Short and sweet posts this week.  I'm getting married this Sunday so as you can imagine, I'm a little busy.  But I've got some funny pictures all lined up for this week.  Hopefully, some of these are new to you.  Enjoy!  :)

Special, this week only!

Because they need it!

Double Dose

Cursed daylight savings!!!

Yesterday morning, I was very tired.  It wasn't because I went to bed particularly late.  It was because my alarm has been going off particularly early.  Why?  Daylight-freaking-savings.  Grrrrr!!!!  Here's what happened when I got to work:

I put my stuff down at my desk.  Next, I considered the unpredictable coffee already in the coffee pot at work.  Then, I considered the highly predictable Starbucks Via instant coffee in my desk drawer.  Any guesses which won?

Via.

So I grabbed my trusty mug, added some via, some splenda, some cream, AND . . .

---Side note---
Normally, one would add piping hot water to make instant coffee.  Well, due to my gross lack of sleep and unusual morning grogginess, I grabbed the coffee pitcher (instead of the hot water) and went to town on my beautifully prepared instant coffee mixings.

Also normally, one would notice when they perform a regular task in an irregular way.  Not me.  Not yesterday.
---End side note---

So I sit back down and begin reading my emails.  The coffee smelled particularly strong, but I took no note.  As soon as I thought my coffee would be cool enough no longer burn the very buds from my tongue, I took a sip . . . bad move.

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you drink something really really bad and you have to spit it out like you see on TV?  Or spew because you drink something and someone makes you laugh?  Today was one of those days.  I nearly spewed my coffee EVERYWHERE!  Why?  Because instant coffee made with coffee tastes like monkey bung hole!  (That's just speculation, by the way.)

Note to self:  Don't make instant coffee with actual coffee.
Note to readers:  Don't make instant coffee with actual coffee.  It's putrid.

Ga-Ga-Good Time

So . . . I haven't posted in a while for a couple reasons.

#1  I've been craaaaaazy busy (in a good way) developing and releasing my website (www.blogtreader.com).  I'm super excited about it.  That's all I have to say, or else I'm going to go on forever about it.

#2  I've been recovering from . . .

Yep.  We went to see Lady Gaga in Dallas on Monday.  Let me say . . .  It was sick!  We had a really good time.  She is a great performer.  The music is obviously catchy.  And I can't think of a better place to go people-watching.  I don't think I've ever been any place where there were more men dressed like women than women dressed like women.  

It probably sounds a little weird coming from someone like me, being so excited about seeing Lady Gaga.  I'll be honest, I've been excited ever since my wife got tickets for Christmas.  It's kind of like saying you got to see Madonna in  her prime.  Not everyone gets to do so.  

Anyway, I'll be back to posting, soon (hopefully as of tomorrow).  As well, I've signed up to do a blog challenge in April.  More on that later.  

Old School

Now that's old school:

I'll be honest . . . I'm a little jealous . . .

First Ever Poll

So I thought I might try something I haven't ever done on Dry Humor Daily: a poll. This particular question came to me at a very obvious occasion. My question is this: When using a public restroom, which is worse: a cold toilet seat or a warm toilet seat? In other words, is the icy cold sting of a long-vacant comode more than you tush can take? Or does the residual heat from a very recent visitor make you cringe? For me, warm is worse... Far worse. My follow-up question is, is there a happy median? If so, what is it? :-)

Dirty Secret

I love clever advertisers:

The biggest rivalries are always the best:  McDonalds vs Burger King, AT&T vs Verizon, and of course, these giants, FedEx and UPS.

Groendyke

Groendyke


Try to sound this out:

 . . . "Grow-"
 . . . "Growin'-"
 . . . "Growin' Dyke"

Is that it?  Sounds right to me!  The word sounds like a butch lesbian that's getting bigger.

I see one of these trucks almost every time I stop for gas at QT and I snicker every time I see it.  (I know, it's childish.)  Part of me feels a little bit bad for making fun of someone's name, but . . . I'd probably make fun of my own name, too, if there were any potential.

Any other unfortunate names you can think of that you see used in businesses?

Happy Blog-a-versary!

Happy 1-year Blog-a-versary to me!!


As of today, I've been officially blogging for a whole entire year!!  I can't help but keep putting two exclamation points!!  (I wish I had a cake right about now. . . chocolate . . .)

It kind of sneaked up on me, too.  I've been tirelessly working on building my other website, Blog Treader.  (It's my first site from scratch and let me tell you, it's an adventure.)  Once it's done, I'll stop missing posts here at Dry Humor Daily.

So let's see . . . how could I celebrate?
-Drink a 6 12 18 pack of Fat Tire?  (my favorite beer)
-Go to a restaurant and order a dessert-to-share, but eat it myself?
-Go cow-tipping?
-Watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles early-90s reruns?

Any other ideas?  :)

Beta Testers Needed!

Beta Testers needed!

I mentioned not too long ago that I was working on a top-secret website project.  I’m almost ready to go live with it, but I’m looking for some beta testers.  I have one already, the awesome blogger over @ colorful rants … . 

Here’s the pitch from the site’s home page (still under construction). 

http://www.blogtreader.com/

----------

“Blog Treader is an exciting, upstart community where bloggers can promote their sites for free!  The goal is to bring you more readers without the cost of traditional advertising.  How?  It's quite simple!

See that blue, rounded box in the sidebar?  That's your ticket to promoting your blog on a growing number of other members' blogs!  All you have to do is put that gadget in your own sidebar and in return, your badge gets put into the mix to be randomly displayed on every other gadget!

So for example, if there were 100 members, your blog badge (basically your ad) would be displayed on 100 different blogs.  (Remember, it didn't cost you a thing, either!)  Now if there were 1,000 members . . . the sky's the limit!”

----------

If you’re cool and you want to try it, I’ll even make you a special color-schemed gadget for your website.  (Check out the one I made for Dry Humor Daily.)  Just email me @ s.cole.garrett@gmail.com and I’ll add your badge and hook you up with your specialized gadget code for your blog.  Even if you don’t have a badge, I can help you out with that, too. 

Thanks everyone!

Funny Business

I've always appreciated businesses with a sense of humor.  I love the fact that some companies realize the importance of being approachable.  Make your customer smile or laugh and you're halfway to a sale.

This doesn't exactly apply, since the iPhone app "Words With Friends" is free, but it's still good.  This is a clip from their how-to guide:

What else do you need to know?  You can play from your toilet seat?  Bring it on, world!

And "baazing!"?  LOL.  That's a new one for me.  I love it.