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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Cell Me

Cell Me

This time of year, I go to the mall more often than I normally would in other months.  It just so happens that this time of year is the time when all of the extra kiosks open up in the middle of all of the walking areas.  What does that mean for my shopping experience?  It means it's extra annoying.

I hate it when the kiosk vultures try to get my attention.  I know you can't tell much by my profile picture, but do I look like the kind of person who wants to buy some honey-flax-seed-olive-oil-butter-cream-lotion-made-with-Caspian-Sea-water?  (Also, if you can't tell, the answer is no.)  Anyway, that's beside the point.  Just about the only thing worse than being flagged down for a feminine hygiene product pitch is the cell phone booth.

The T-Mobile booth or Verizon booth, whatever it may be, is always stocked with the worst of the worst.  If you make it on to one of their radars, they ask you about your cell service as you approach the kiosk, as you walk by it, and as you're walking off, as well.  (Even if you never acknowledge them once.)  And somehow, they remember you.  You see, in almost every mall I've ever been to, you have to pass by everything twice.  (Once to go where you need to go and again to make your way back to your car.)  So when you're making your return pass by the booth, they hassle you again and give you the eye as if the seventh time of asking you is the magic one.

It's not. . . . and it never is.  So freaking stop it already!

Do you have any mall kiosks in particular that annoy you the most?  Please share!  :)


Kate Weber said...

I agree they are really annoying. BUT I've learned a way to get past it. See... I act really interested, flirt a little if it's a cute guy, and let him show me his product. I've gotten free makeovers, hair styles, polished fingernails and hand massages just by flirting. And then: "I love this product! I just need to run out to my car to get my purse. I'll be right back." And then avoid the kiosk like crazy. Good times.

Casey said...

I can deal with the cell booths, it's the freaking lotion/soap people who kill me! SERIOUSLY- if I say "No," I mean "No."

So glad to be done with my shopping...



Jon said...

This is yet another reason that I live 130 miles from the nearest mall. I like Kate's attitude!


I feel your pain. The lotion/sea salt scrub people drive me crazy! They always like to invade my personal space and try to make me try out some product. They're stupid enough to do this in front of Sephora, which sells beauty products. One of these days I'm just gonna snap--instead of saying a polite "no, thank you" like I usually do, I'm eventually going to get all snobby on them and tell them that I'm headed to Sephora instead because Philosophy and Bliss products are way better than the stuff they're hawking. Grrrr.

Christine said...

I hate the hair straightener ladies...and the makeup chicks. I can easily blow off the cell phone guys since I have a contract and don't care to listen to their pitch at all...but the ones selling the beauty products DRIVE ME CRAZY.

The problem with kiosks is that it's like being assaulted by a salesperson at a store you didn't choose to go to. I don't have to go into the GAP, but I have to pass by the kiosk. Lamesauce.

Gina said...

I usually deal with them by asking THEM a question. You know, as soon as they open their slimy mouths to pitch something, I act all embarrassed and ask "Oh, my gosh, can you tell me where Macy's is? I'm sooooo lost!" And then they are generally so proud of their ability to answer that I can slip away in the wake of their response.

Once though, I was literally accosted by one guy selling lotion. I cannot describe the entire encounter to you, but suffice it to say it included scented lotion (that I am allergic to, boo), overly-enthusiastic hand rubbing and him repeatedly using the f-bomb. I practically needed to bathe in purell when I finally was able to wretch my hand away from him.

Rease said...

I remember being stopped by a hair straightener kiosk. I have wavy hair and did at the time own a straightener but I prefer my hair wavy. The lady basically insulted me in her sales pitch.

Bitchy lady: "I can make your hair beautiful and straight in minutes."
Me: "I have wavy hair. I like it"
Bitchy Lady: "Yes it's nice but you can look so much better! Let me show you!"
Me: "I like being natural. No thanks"

she continued to pitch the product but I kept walking.

Cole Garrett said...

Thanks for all the input. I guess women can pass the cell kiosk without getting the eye, but the hair straightener and lotion ones are the hot spots for y'all. (I suppose I could've known that would be the case, but either way, I don't have as much experience with those. :))

Anonymous said...

Exactly as all the other ladies. The lotion people always try to harass me, but I very loudly yell "NO THANK YOU, I"M ALLERGIC" and keep walking by. As far as the hair straightening ones, I have curly hair so they ALWAYS flock to me. Those I just straight up have to be rude to because they will NOT leave me alone.

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