Wedding Week: Thursday

The dress is a BIG DEAL.  Brides go crazy over their dress.  They watch wedding dress shows.  They read wedding magazines (mainly just to look at the dresses).  They scour wedding websites for dress ideas.  I'll bet if there was a wedding radio station, brides would listen to that, too!  Dress, dress, dress, dress.

None of the obsession really bothers me.  I'm just making an observation.  All of the wedding dress hoopla is actually funny.  Let me give you the basic outline of what happens:

Bride:     I'm going with my mom to look at wedding dresses.
Groom:  Oh, okay.
Bride:     It's not like we're going to find anything.  We're just looking.
Groom:  Sure.  (Sarcastically)
Bride:     Oh stop.  We'll probably look at ten places before I find one.
Groom:  Mm hm.  (Again, sarcastically.)

. . . 6 hours later . .  .

Bride:     Oh . . .
Bride:     My . . .
Bride:     Gosh!  I found it!  I found the one!  It's the one I've always dreamed of!
Groom:   I know . . .
Bride:     What do you mean, 'you know'?  I LOVE this one!  This is the one!  (Dances off into other room...)
Groom:   Never mind.

And it costs a pretty penny, too.  Couples could save a whole bunch of money if they would just buy their dresses here:

They may not have wedding magazines, but they definitely sell other magazines.  :)

Wedding Week: Wednesday

This next bit came to us while scouring the internet for examples to pull from to write our order of ceremonies.  This was seriously at the bottom of one of the articles we were looking through for opening greetings:

All of the article suggestions are funny in their own way, but the circled one is the best.  My wife to be and I almost died laughing when we saw this.  I hope you get a kick out of it, too.

Do you have any funny stories about looking for one thing online, and being pointed to a funny recommended site/article?  :)

Wedding Week: Tuesday

Wedding cake.  (Need I say more?)  My favorite thing about any wedding reception is the cake.  Hands down.  It can be white cake, chocolate cake, hazelnut, tres leches, who cares!  Just roll out the cake.  If you ask me, almost everything about a reception can be mediocre, but if the cake is good great, the rest can be forgiven.

There's only one problem I have with cake: the recent trend with grooms' cakes.  I'm okay with the fact that there is one.  I mean, come on, the more cake the better.  I just think it's funny when they have a theme.  (If you had a themed groom cake in your wedding, I'm sorry.  If you're planning on one, reconsider.)  I'm going to try to say the nicest thing I can say about them: they're silly.

Your wedding is not the time to boast what college you went to or how much you love Batman, so why would you have a cake to show it?  "Yay, we're getting married . . . it's the happiest day of our lives . . . let's have some cake that looks like a giant  . . . um . . . fish."  I'll pass.  (This isn't a joke.  I really saw a fish-shaped groom's cake, once.  And no, I didn't eat it.)  Rest assured our cakes are normal: one white, one chocolate, no theme.

Do you have any wedding cake stories?  :)

Wedding Week: Monday

Based on readers' suggestions, I've been posting themed weeks lately.  Two weeks ago was funny restaurant signs (check out the archives if you need to).  Last week was strange words.  This week is going to be about weddings.  More particularly, it will be about wedding stuff.

It may seem like kind of a random topic, but it's not.  In case you may not know, I'm getting married in about 5 weeks, so needless to say, wedding stuff is often on the brain.  I like to think you can find humor in any and everything.  Weddings, of course, are no exception.  (I also used to work at a place that hosted a lot of weddings, so I've been to a disproportionately high number of them.)

Let's talk about wedding favors.  I've seen pretty much everything.  I've seen candies, bubbles, picture frames, flowers, and everything in between.  One wedding I had worked at even handed out customized bottles of wine to each guest as they left.  (They even had two varieties!!)  The concept of wedding favors got me thinking: what do your wedding favors say about you?

Wedding favors are meant to be a "thank you for coming to our wedding" sort of thing.  For the most part, they make sense.  "Thanks for coming to our wedding, here's some candy."  "Thanks for coming to our wedding, here's a bouquet of flowers."  But Jordan almonds?  What crazy loons came up with that?  (Italians did, in case you're wondering.)  Jordan almonds are basically sugar/candy-coated almonds.  They are supposed to signify the bittersweetness of married life.  My response: what the heck kind of metaphor is that?!  The bittersweetness of married life?  Does that mean married couples are canoodling, soft, and sweet on the outside, but hard and bitter on the inside?  How charming. . .  I know married life usually isn't a fairy tale, always pixie dust and lemonade, but come on.  Let's at least lie to ourselves on the day of the wedding!

(I won't rant much longer, I promise.  One wedding favor that always made me laugh was the bubbles.  You know, the bubbles you're supposed to blow at the bride and the groom as they're leaving so they have some fun pictures of the send off?  Yeah.  No favor says "thanks for coming to our wedding" like bubbles.  "Hey, do us a favor and blow some bubbles as we leave for our honeymoon.")

In case you're curious, we're having home-made cupcakes as our wedding favors.  Also, if you're lucky enough to be off of work today for president's day, then have a nice day off!  (I'm jealous!)

And We're Off!

And We're Off!


As I so briefly mentioned on Monday, my wife-to-be and I finally picked out a date for our wedding.  It will be...

March 27th, 2011


In case the large font didn't make my point, this is very exciting.  It's also very soon.  Normally, I don't think men get too excited about weddings.  (Ironic, isn't it?  Since the guy typically asks the girl in the first place.)  Well, I am stoked.  At first, I had trouble putting into words why, but I've since corralled my thoughts, so here they are:  Top 5 reasons a groom should be excited to be getting married.  (Not necessarily my top 5, but 5 good ones.)

#1 You have the opportunity to spend the rest of your life with the someone who appears to you to be the most wonderful woman in the world.  Your princess, your soul mate, your bride.  (I feel a little obligated to say that one, but I mean it.)

#2 You get a vacation!  And if you have kids (like us), you get to ditch them with grandma and grandpa and go on a vacation.  Any complaints?

#3 You get a discount on your insurance!  Let's face it, driving cars around is not cheap.  Any help we married folk can get is welcome.  (After all, we're going to have to start paying for diapers for all those babies we're gonna be makin'.)

#4 Higher education magically becomes free!  Yep, for some reason, the government will throw buckets of money at you to go to college.  You can go to pretty much any non-football-based college for practically nothing.  (Men, you're gonna need those smarts to learn how to deal with women!)

#5 You can have all the hot, steamy, guiltless . . . um . . . cake you could ever want.  You still gotta work for it, though.

If I missed one, feel free to add it.  :)