Wednesday 8/25

Pun Intended

In case you haven’t noticed, not all of the humor here at Dry Humor Daily is always “dry”, per se.  (The title of my blog was chosen more to describe my own personality, not necessarily the contents of these pages.)  That’s okay, though.  Laughs, cackles, and giggles are good all the same.  I thought maybe over the next few days, we could explore some different types of humor.  One of my favorite varieties is the pun. 

Puns are great.  They are actually kind of borderline dry humor.  It all depends on the delivery.  If you can appropriately (and intentionally) use a pun while keeping a straight face, it usually qualifies.  Puns are basically a play on words.  And they’re usually better told spoken because of the common use of homophones.  Well, I’ve conjured up some classic scenarios using puns.  The first two are real.  The second two, I just know of.

#1 I was on a school field trip to the Fort Worth zoo sometime in middle school.  (I don’t think the trip coordinators at the school realized that 13 and 14 year-olds weren’t amused by the zoo at that age.)  We were breaking for lunch and we all sat in a large area with picnic tables.  It was well shaded.  Perched in those shade trees were swarms hungry crows (we call them grackles) waiting to swoop on the first sight of leftovers and falling food.  My friends and I were eating and talking and I suddenly felt something.  I though it was a drop of rain.  Then I looked at my arm where I felt it.  One of those crows had relieved itself . . . onto my arm.  The first thing I could think to say was, “Aw crap.”

#2 One way I used to cure boredom was by drawing and sketching.  I loved drawing back when the only thing I had better to do was watch Ninja Turtles when it came on.  Anyway, this particular day, drawing was the last resort.  I had tried everything else.  So I grabbed the sharpest pencil in the cup and a notebook and plopped on the bed.  I flipped it open and put the pencil to the paper and CRACK!  The pencil broke.  Then, realizing that my attempt to pass the time was officially futile, I said to myself, “Well . . . this is pointless.”

#3 A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, “We have absolutely nothing to go on.”

#4 A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted “Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”