Friday 5//28

Twenty-Three

Dr Pepper.  You either really love it or you really hate it.  I’m from Texas, so … I think I’m legally bound to openly love it.  (In secret, I’m more or less on the fence.  If I really had a hankerin’ for a soda and there was only Dr Pepper, I would drink it.  I certainly don’t go out of my way, though.)  Well, whether you’re a pepper or not, we can all agree on one question.  What in the world is up with the whole ’Authentic Blend of 23 Flavors’ thing and how could anyone possibly taste them all?

Since when did Dr Pepper have 23 flavors?  As long as I can remember, it only had one: Dr Pepper flavor.  I’ve tried to sit down and guess a few of them, but I don’t come up with much.  Is High Fructose Corn Syrup one of them?  Because that’s what I’m tasting.  Sweet-ness!  You could go on the website to inquire about the mystery, but you’ll find a very cliché answer.  “It’s top secret.”  I rolled my eyes when I read this.  They do, however, assure the public that prune juice is definitely not one of the 23 flavors.

They protect the ‘top secret’ recipe as if it’s written directly on the missing minutes of the Watergate tapes or something!  It’s silly if you ask me.  It’s like the press finally gave up on prodding Coca-Cola for their secret recipe, so they asked DP, “Coke won’t tell us what’s in coke.  So what’s your secret, Dr Pepper?”  Dr Pepper responded with, “oh.  Um.  Well…it’s a secret, too.  Why don’t you go bug Pepsi.” 

Secrets are for 3^rd graders.  Just tell us, already.  We all know Dr Pepper is just cherry-flavored root beer.

What other soda just happens to have a lot of ingredients?  Root Beer.  Many people agree that Dr Pepper’s mysterious taste profile is remarkably similar to root beer, with just a little extra something.  The two most common ideas for that extra flavor are vanilla and cherry.  Here is a list of the 23 most popular guesses for what comprises the elusive blend: Cherry, Vanilla, Almond, Plum, Blackberry, Raspberry, Apricot, Coriander, Clove, Amaretto, Anise, Caramel, Molasses, Birch Beer, Allspice, Ginger, Sasparilla Sassafras, Juniper, Spikenard, Wintergreen, Burdock, and Dandelion.  Now can you taste them all?  Not unless you can blindly pinpoint tastes like Spikenard and Burdock.  I know I can’t.

It’s only a matter of time before DP moves on to a different advertising campaign.  Until then, all we can do is keep on loving it or keep on hating it. 

By: S. Cole Garrett