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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Tuesday 4/20


Do you ever come to a situation where you need a word for something and you just can’t seem to put your finger on it?  You need that one word but it escapes you.  So you try to think of a different word to use but even still, nothing comes to mind so you mash up and inappropriately hyphenate a mix of other ones to try to sound out what you mean.  Sometimes, you just have a mind lapse and you think of it later.  But what I’m more concerned with is when a word just doesn’t exist when you need it.  I’ve been stumbling over this one adjective for a long time and I’ve finally figured out what to say:  Statriotic.

I live in Texas.  (I just thought that would be a good place to start.)  Now, if you’ve never been here, then let me be the first to tell you, it’s chock-full of state pride.  (If you have been here, then perhaps you know what I mean.)  “Everything’s BIG in Texas” right?  Dairy Queen is the Texas stop sign.  Home Depot used to be “The Texas do it yourself store.”  I’ve driven in an HOV lane with two lanes!  (At that point, they should just call it the HOV-side-of-the-road).  If you’re from Texas, you are Texan.  (Some, but certainly not all, states have names for their inhabitants.  Hawaiian is cool, but New Hampshirean?  Nope, sorry New Hampshire.)  Texas even shares a category of food with another country: tex-mex.  I’m all for “loving your state,” but there is one problem.  There is no adjective available by which to describe such feelings. 

I kept wanting to say patriotic, but I double-checked and patriotism specifically has to do with one’s country.  (Some people consider Texas its own country, so depending on the perspective, it could work.)  Anyway, I spit out ‘statriotic’ one day.  Most of the time, it’s a comic event when we accidentally mix two words together.  For example, great + cool = grool.  Punch + slap = slunch.  We all do it.  And sometimes, it works out!  Hence, statriotic!  (Aha moment!)  The long-elusive adjective for state pride exists, even if only in my own mind.

Now, whenever you see an enormous “Texas Edition” truck on the road, notice a big metal star adorning a neighbor’s house, or order the Texas-sized T-bone at Big Tex Bar and Grill, you can say, “Now that’s statriotic!”

By: S. Cole Garrett


Dr. Heckle said...

My favorite mix is the "shart." That fart that had a little bit extra...

There's also the "vurp." Where you burp and taste a little bit of your digested lunch at the same time...

Cole Garrett said...

When I was a kid, one time my mom forgot to exit the highway and she said she "pissed" her exit, which is a mix of passing and missing it. She'll never live it down.

Boxxy said...

I came up with the cousin disease of botulism, usually contracted from dented cans. It's called "Boxulism" (patent pending), has the same same general effect, except you get it from dented or crushed boxes.

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