McDonald's Kills

This news article caught my eye the other day:

My first thought was, "yeah, so?  Everyone knows that..."

Then I read on:

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...

...

...

...

Then my thought was just, "yeah, so?"

You know, people don't go to McDonald's for the salads and 'real' chicken strips.  They want Big Macs, french fries, and  mechanically separated and compressed chicken 'fingers' that are either oval or the shape of a stocking.

"Everyone knows that..."

Donuts and Tacos

So ... does that mean there's a Donut Taco Palace II somewhere, as well?  

Cereal Fact

I'll still eat them ... :)

Na Na Na

I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to get this picture . . .

 . . . but it was worth it when I did, lol!

Corruption

Occupy Sesame Street

Butter Special

No wonder it's on sale, lol!

Fragile Like Eggs

Broken Cookies = Broken Dreams.   I couldn't have said it better myself.

I kept this lid of a box of biscotti.  If you've been reading for long, you know I like a good bit of corporate humor.  I appreciate it when suppliers have a sense of humor (especially dry humor.)  :)

"Meat"balls

I understand the desire to be vegetarian.  I do.  It's generally healthy.  It saves our furry farm friends from the slaughter (supposedly).  And, hey, someone's got to be on that end of the American-Obesity-Bell-Curve.

But I'm thoroughly confused by things like this, which I saw at the grocery store earlier today:

What is America's obsession with meat?  Even vegetarians apparently seek meat-like products (otherwise, companies wouldn't be making them).  Why not just call them "Veggie Balls"?  Or Meatball substitutes?  Oh, I know . . . "Vegeta-balls"!  Because "Meatless" meatballs sounds silly...

Have you seen any odd products at the store lately?

Dr Pepper BBQ

Saw this at Bed Bath and Beyond.  I'm proud to be a Texan, but I can't say I condone everything we do.  This doesn't even sound good.  Dr Pepper barbecue sauce?  Ew.  

I had a few posts recently about product failure.  Many of them are products reaching into other categories where they don't belong.  This just goes to show that some marketers don't read the history books. . .

Less Cruel

Free Range Chicken Broth?  Now that's just silly . . .

How much chicken is in there anyway?  None?  It sounds to me like they just wanted to charge twice what the product is worth.  Organic, Free Range, Gluten Free = $, $, $.  :)

Free Candy

It had to be windowless, too . . .

Watch Your Bell

I saw this one in the Taco Bell drive through . . . well . . . obviously.

I love corporate humor.  Well played.  :)

Bloody Corn

What kind of pictures make you want food?

Is it fresh, water-dewed produce?

Or is it something more like a sizzling steak?

Or some other vice?

Well, we were going through the drive through at KFC (this isn't the first post about KFC . . .this is) and we saw an interesting sign.  The sign was a picture of the types of food they serve, but in a modern artistic style.  Here is some appetizing corn we saw:

That's no mistake.  There's nothing accidentally splattered on that picture.  That's the picture.  So I have to ask: how does bloody corn make you feel?  Does bloody corn make you hungry or does it make you want to murder other vegetables?  

I know one thing, I might change my order at the window after seeing this.  How about one of those famous bowls?  On second thought, I'll take bloody corn.

For All Occasions

I'll be honest.  I love [good] cake!  It can be any kind of cake for any occasion.  Then my wife showed me this picture:

It's a divorce cake.  I had never even heard of such a cake before.  If you Google "divorce cake," you'll find a whole bunch of bloody mess cakes.  It's gruesome and bizarre.  But this one was kind of funny.  

So let me rethink that statement . . . would I really eat cake for any occasion?  

Yes.

Produce Fail

Today's post is rather short for two reasons:

1)  I'm kind of pinched for time due to working way more than usual this week.

2)  Honestly, this product only really needs one word:

Why?

Toothpaste Fail

Here's another brand failure that many people missed.  Take a look at this picture:

Mmmmm... Delicious looking stir fry!  Broccoli . . . snow peas . . . yellow peppers, red peppers . . .water chestnuts (one of my personal faves!)  It's kind of starting to make me hungry.  But wait.  There's more to the picture (there's always more . . .)

Let's see if I can use a story to describe why this tasty-looking entree failed so miserably:

You're walking down the aisle one day in the freezer section at the store and you're looking for supper, thinking out loud:

"Hum dee dum . . . la la la . . . let's see.  What looks good?

 . . . Stover's meat loaf?  Maybe . . .

 . . . Banquet Chicken Pot Pie?  Not today . . .

. . . Marie Calender's Mac 'n' Cheese?  Um . . ."

And then you stop, turn your head, and scrunch your eyebrows:

"What the . . . Colgate Stir Fry?!"

If that sounds remotely close to your reaction to the prospect of Colgate frozen dinners, then join the club.  This product was yanked from the shelves after only weeks of baffled shoppers got a look at it.  No one could get past the "Colgate."  

Blind taste tests of this dish probably went fabulously.  The problem is, the researchers didn't tell the testers they were eating Colgate food. . . . Colgate food.  Even if it is great, the name kills it.  Apparently, Colgate ran out of things to sell on the dental hygiene aisle.  I'm all for branching out into new categories, but not that far out.

Cheese Fail

Do you know why we have focus groups?  It's so that companies can get real consumer opinions about new products before releasing them to the general public.  Unfortunately, some products manage to slip through the cracks.  It never ceases to amaze me how some of them actually do.  I thought I'd spend a few days or so highlighting some of the worst product failures.  Some of them are so ridiculous, you can't help but laugh.

No doubt, Cheetos are a great success!  Kids love them and adults who aren't ashamed to like their fingers in public like them, too.  Even spicy Cheetos are a big hit.  There are also Cheetos puffs, Cheetos asteroids, and . . . Cheetos lip balm?!

If only this were a joke!  Believe it or not, Cheetos made a lip-smacking-good lip balm.  I don't know about you, but for one, orange lips aren't attractive.  And two, who in the world would want to kiss someone with pasty, Cheeto-flavored lips?  Not me.  

How did this one slip through the cracks?

Funny Restaurant Sign Week 3

IHOP had better watch out.  Max's just extended their breakfast menu to "all day!"

All day, huh?  Boy, I wish "all day" for me meant six-and-a-half hours.

Funny Restaurant Sign Week 2

This sign is funny because of how it is unintentionally and unfortunately misplaced:

"Um, yes.  I'd like an order of your house cat spare ribs and the hamster poppers!"  

OK

OK


I've always laughed at funny and/or ignorant signs.  This one made me laugh today.  :)

We all appreciate the honesty, but I think they'd be better off letting the patrons be their own judge.