Gas Power

Gas Power

Did you know some farmers power their farms with gas?  I know, duh, right?  Well, somehow we got on this subject yesterday at work.  Believe it or not, I'm not talking about the kind of gas you use for your stove.  I'm talking about another type:

I'm talking about the crap produced by these guys: cows.  Yep.  Some farming establishments have developed a process of filling pits full of manure and capturing the methane rising from it and converting it into usable gas which powers their operation.  No bull.

Think we should all be driving fewer SUVs?  Think again.  The beef industry (more importantly, the belching and flatulent byproducts of it) accounts for multiple times the atmospheric destruction than all of the vehicles on the planet combined.  Now that stinks!  The truth is: more farmers should be doing this.  Maybe Dry Humor Daily can power its site this way, too.  (On second thought, never mind that.)

So what do you do with this information?  Call your senator, of course!  And demand methane-powered farming!  

On a cleaner, fresher-smelling note, Dry Humor Daily just had its 10,000 page view.  Yay!

Wednesday 5/19

Reduce, Reuse, and what?!

How could this topic have been avoided this long: Going Green.  Recycle your bottles and cans!  Reuse your grocery bags!  Reuse your reusable grocery bags! (which are terrible for the environment if you throw them away, by the way.)  Don’t drink bottled water!  Don’t shower!  You’d be fooling yourself if you don’t think the green movement is going a little overboard.  And by little, I mean a lot!

I’m all for saving the environment and trees.  Although, if you know me, you know what I say about saving trees: “Lumberjacks gotta have jobs, too, ya know!”  And we can do some pretty cool things with all those used plastic grocery bags, like make park benches and sidewalks.  I think recycling is great, as long as it’s convenient.  So where does all that stuff (crap) go?

Right back around to YOU!

Sometimes you know it, and sometimes you don’t.  If you wipe your hands on paper towels in a public restroom, they’re probably made from recycled paper.  Eat cereal out of a box?  Gotchya there, too.  Many plastic bottles and jugs are made at least in part from recycled materials.  Some consumers consciously buy post-consumer products knowingly and supportively!  Yay, go them.  You know when they really deserve applause, though?  When such consumers take it to this level:

Oh, yeah, baby!  Toilet paper that’s already…been… … post-consumed.  Are you rushing out to get some right now?  Probably not.  Not because you’re still reading, but because it just doesn’t have a good ring to it, does it?  Recycled toilet paper!  The future in hind-wiping!  I’ll pass.  Besides, it got some poor product reviews.  Apparently, it’s too “scratchy.”  I can’t guess why.

By: S. Cole Garrett

Monday 4/26

Bio Bag

Believe it or not, I actually read and usually respond to comments made on Dry Humor Daily articles.  Well, a comment made on the Earth Day article from last Thursday inspired me to take action.  The comment was this:

“Have you seen the new bio degradable sun chips bag? It’s really cool... I guess.  But it’s really noisy, like, at least 10X louder than your standard potato chip bag.  It’s not ideal for trying to sneak a midnight snack.  Of course, it’s great if you’re super protective of your sun chips, then you would always know when someone eats them.”

I read this and what stuck out was the claim that Sun Chips bio degradable bags are at least 10 times louder than other bags.  I came to realize that I’ve never been curious enough to pick one up.  I certainly was after that!

I was grocery shopping the next day and lo and behold! 

The end cap of one of the aisles was promoting Sun Chips with bio degradable bags.  Hmm, I thought, I wonder just how much noisier these bags really are.  I pulled the kart over next to the display.  I looked both ways (like I was about to cross a street or something, I’m not exactly sure why) and reached out to grab one of the bags. 

Much to my embarrassment, the bags are, and I quote, “at least 10X louder than your standard potato chip bag.”  The three seconds worth of noise I created by touching that Sun Chips bag was almost equivalent to taking a three-foot strip of aluminum foil and crumpling it into one fist. . . and then un-crumpling it!  Good thing there weren’t any sleeping babies nearby.  They surely would have wakened. 

I’m here to save you from the same embarrassment, but if you insist on letting your curiosity get the best of you, too, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

By: S. Cole Garrett