Good Fish, Bad Grammar

Good Fish, Bad Grammar

Behold! Salmon!

I know it’s difficult to read, but this is what the writing states:

“Wild salmon is exceptionally popular with ‘most everyone.  The reason?  Everyone just loves the taste of salmon.  And isn’t it nice to know that salmon also contains Omega-3 fish oils?”

That isn’t a second-grader’s English essay.  Nope.  That is actually printed on this package of salmon we bought recently.  (Mandalyn lovingly pointed this out to me.)  The idea of this passage is to briefly inform/convince you as to why you should buy this fish.  Is it effective?  I don’t know.  We didn’t uncover the elementary English until several days after buying it.  Perhaps you’re wondering what’s wrong with the statement?  I’ll tell you.

1.       What does “ ‘most” mean?  What’s with the apostrophe?  Google doesn’t even know the answer.  (I tried.)  I’ve been making fun of non-word captchas lately, but whoever wrote this seriously thinks “ ‘most” is an acceptable variation of the word “almost.”  (It’s not.)

2.      If “exceptionally” is the biggest word in your vocabulary, you probably shouldn’t be published, even on the back of a bag of salmon.

3.      “The reason?” is slang.  It’s not a properly formed question.  It’s actually not even a properly formed sentence (no predicate).  Certain assumptions that can be made in speech should not be made in writing.  (But then again, this person used “ ‘most.”)

4.      So which one is it?  ‘Most everyone or everyone?  The bag says both. 

5.      Sure, salmon has Omega-3 oils.  Cool, but what are those?  The bag panel of the bag which contains the above writing is about 70% blank.  Couldn’t they expand on this just a little bit?  “White space” belongs in artwork, not advertising.

This is more funny than it is wildly offensive.  (And it’s probably more widly offensive than wild Alaskan…)